Name: Chompoonoot
Nick Name: Pueng
MUST sing in karaoke or else: You Don't Know Me, or Numb but I won't sing
What remind of the childhood: Mom
Earn the first time ever: pulled mom's silver hair
First Job: Credit Analyst
Current Job: Programmer
If not, you would be: a Clerk
Dream Job: a Typist
Addicted to: email
Cry last time: Bobo left bangkok
When to realize that you're in love: when jerk/bitch says something to me and I am still smiling
Worst Fear: Ghost, Height, Plane Crash
Best day ever: that Night in Seoul, Nanta, Long Island Ice Tea
Hurt the most: India
First one to tell good news to: No one
First one to think of when sad: Bobo
Hate the most: criticizing people
Hate the most in guys: selfishness
To relax: to sleep
Guy most wanted: Keanu Reeve
One thing you want to change: brain
Friends complain about: the warmest, the coldest
Marriage is: obligation, burden, responsibility
Friends like to tease: no one dares to tease
Secret you know: somebody is someone's mistress
Most ashame of if you get caught: lies
In 5 years: I'll be older
Motto: look at yourself before judging others

seems like it was just a few days ago that I lit the candle to celebrate King's birthday
now seeing people doing it again
another year has passed

King is sick, having sore throat, so he couldn't give speech this year
I think he's angry with us

long weekend but home alone
this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life

good or bad?

In the hardest time

Seems there's no way out

People are divided into groups

Different opinions, taking sides

Start killing each other, killing our own country

Most feel sorry for what is happening

We are hurting our beloved king

No one knows how it will end

Each side believes they are doing the right thing

Rising stress, walking blindly to nowhere

Siam is no longer land of a thousand smiles

Then looking up

Different sides seeing the same thing

Sky is smiling

Perhaps, there is still hope

You want someone to tell you it was just an accident
That it's not that bad
but it's that bad
and you know it
There's nothing you can do to change that
But if there is one thing you can try to not make it worse ...

Only if I was that lucky

people get what they get
it has nothing to do with what they deserve

my plant is dying
so is my career

the company is releasing people again
if I am one of them, I'll get 7 months.

then ... what to do next?
finding new job..
travel around..

must be good time to visit korea

when one thing goes wrong,
seems everything else is going in the same way
down down down...

things can change, just like that
can't help thinking too much about it

who is it this time? probably me.
they say when one door is closed, the other will be open
just to cheer up people and give hope
nothing wrong with it but ... sound like bull shit to me

what am I doing?
drag someone else with me
probably not
will have to tell eventually, whatever will be

hurt myself, hurt somebody else...
life is not fair
but I could have been... I could be...

nobody has to lose
give it more thought, maybe will find a way
or ... just let it be, again .. convenient

meeting meeting meeting
hate it

self-training on and on
obviously bad at it
my mind is wandering

guy from west canana came
went to have japanese buffet
same funny guy
now will move to Seattle, good for him

went to a bookfair, just to chill out
walked around, found some interesting books
bought some, will spend a year or two to finish them
still work on that thick book bought from 2 years ago
from this same bookfair
over 1,000 pages, will I ever finish it?

India...have to wait
hope my luck is still around
they say he's nice, but I think ... something else

woke up one hour earlier than working day
wanted to take a public bus today
changed my mind in the last minute
motorcycle, bus, then MRT
didn't think so

2 hours from bkk

reclining buddha, second time to be there
over hundred times to be in a temple
nothing new

tried lifting the elephant statue using ring finger
supposed to wish for something
hm....wished that I could lift it with no problem
too heavey and hurt my finger

took photos at this same place
but with people this time
yeah...that's new

then 100-year-old market
also the second time to be here
nothing new

lots of food from 100 years ago which couldn't be found anywhere in bkk
till food from today which we could find anywhere in bkk
didn't enjoy the food much
not my kind of food, everything was too sweet

bought the ancient toy, the same toy I bought last time I came
bought a boxing doll, something new
still don't know what to do with them

then aquarium, first time
fishes from river, very few from the sea
interesting, always like fish
never know how they look like when alive
totoally different when on plates
fish are friends, not food

then zoo, first time
lots of tigers, lions, big ones
no doubt they can eat man
babies were so cute
saw lots of rabbits today
want to have a rabbit in my room
let it run on the floor, must be nice

came back home around 9 pm
very tired, sleepy
again, don't want to go to bed yet
will sleep all day tomorrow

had a good time today
but still prefer to stay home

assigned an urgent work
they didn't see it till due date
good that didn't have to do it alone
another guy did most of the work
just realized I didn't have any connection in thailand

sudoku seems easy but not really
I know what type of person I am
playing the game just confirms it more
play it everyday, can become addicted
already isolated from others, now even more with this game

sleepy but don't want to go to bed yet
have to wake up very early tomorrow, project event
don't wanna go....

I don't understand why
I know how but I want to understand why
he would never say anything, but why?
better to forget about it
driving me crazy sometimes

forget it, forget it, forget it
just a sob, don't bother

บ้าจริง ตื่นมาทำไมกลางดึกแล้วก็นอนไม่หลับ
สงสัยจะกินมากไป

รู้สึกแย่ๆ ไม่ชอบเลย ความรู้สึกนี้
นอนท่องพุทโธ พุทโธ สงบสติอารมณ์
พยายามไม่โกรธ ไม่เกลียด
คิดว่าโกรธคือโง่ โมโหคือบ้า
ตอนนี้ก็โง่อยู่แล้ว อย่าพยายามเพิ่มความโง่ให้ตัวเองอีก

บอกตัวเอง เป็นธรรมดาของโลก
คนมีหลายประเภท
อยากมีหูทิพย์ ฟังอะไรก็ไม่สะเทือนอารมณ์
อยากมีตาทิพย์ เห็นอะไรก็ไม่หวั่นไหว
เฮ้อ.. พูดง่าย ทำยาก

ความยุติธรรมมันไม่มีในโลกอยู่แล้ว
ทำดี ไม่จำเป็นต้องได้ดี แค่ทำดีให้ตัวเองสบายใจก็พอ
ต้องเอาชนะความคิดแย่ๆของตัวเอง
แข่งกับตัวเอง คุมตัวเอง
เพราะจะไปเปลี่ยนความเฮงซวยของคนอื่น มันเป็นไปไม่ได้อยู่แล้ว

เฮ้อ....เหนื่อยจัง
พักกาย ก็ได้ แต่ไม่มีที่พักใจ
บอกตัวเอง อย่าไว้ใจใครอีก
ชอบลืม แล้วก็มาเจ็บอีกทุกที

รักษาตัวเองต่อไป

bought some books
sudoku, math problems, and back to basic math
been long time haven't used brain much
forgetting things more

when talked about something, then it just slipped
couldn't recall what I was talking about

been this way for more than a year
get dizzy for no reason sometimes
thought it was medicine
may be it is, may be it is not

will see it a few more weeks
if not getting better, well... let it be

Had a physical checkup
almost everything is normal

Surprised my eye sight is normal
having problem reading lately

blood is ok, a little problem from not having enough sleep

really?? not enough sleep??

food in hospital is expensive

good to have coupon, didn't finish it all

had chicken in gravy on rice, mistake

crispy chicken and roasted chicken on rice would have been better

will try something else next year

on the way back, got lost as usual

lost last year, lost again this year

thought i was going the right way already

but still..

feeling hungry, nothing to eat

huh...instant noodle..again

my 5th year today

I love you

indian speak so fast, too fast...
are they always in a hurry?

israeli shout a lot
whenever site manager is not in office,
feel like being in a cemetary

thai gossip A LOT
it's good everybody forgets about me most of the time

why am I not speaking at all?
why are other people have a lot of things to say all the time?

september 29 will be the 5th year
getting a plant, called plant
it's green, dark green here, light green there
my plant is the most beautiful
hope it won't die too soon
can't wait to see its flower, if any

went to fitness, manage to lose 2 kgs in ..... (whatever)
amdocs dinner last friday, gained them back. Damn it!
never mind, eat first, think later.

went to fitness, didn't like the trainner much
in one hour, 15 minutes running, half an hour canoeing
why do I need a trainner for those?

love the steam room
girls are like pros, changing into towel without dropping anything
hm...how did they do it?
never mind, I'll change in the bathroom.

thought about swimming lesson
found the swimming pool to practice
but it never stops raining
hm...maybe I don't need swimming skill
I won't go into the water anywhere anyway

I love my job
but I hate it sometimes...
most of the time...
how come it's not fun any more?

I am so dumb

went to have lunch at the life-time restaurent.
called life-time coz it took forever to get our food.
we usually go there for lunch though coz the food there is the best.

while waiting, saw a new coffee shop near by.
a guy sitting, looked bored, no customer.
went to buy a cup of coffee, though a tea person.
ordered mocca, whatever that is.
tasted like coffee.

felt sleepy that afternoon as usual.
coffee didn't help.
but then, at night, couldn't close my eyes for hours.
couldn't remember when I fell asleep.

woke up late the next morning, that damn coffee!
drove in my sleep.
before I knew, I reached office building.

stopped by Mcdonald, buying something for breakfast.
a guy took order, told me how much it was.
damn expensive burger.
he shouted to the back, one burger to go!
he reached for plastic bag, put napkin in, ketchup in, receipt in.
then he handed me the bag.
took the bag from him.
looked in the bag.
looked at him.
looked in the bag.
looked at him.
he looked confused.
was I drunk from coffee yesterday or he still sleeping?
took a while before we came back to our sense.

reached office late than usual.
site manager gave 'the look'.
whatever.

Moments in Life

King's Hall. Midnight. Spring just started. Tulips under moonlight.

Rested my eyes after hours of reading, took fresh air outside the study room on the third floor's balcony. Took deep breath but then choking suddenly by the cigarratte smoke from ground floor. Who the hell was that, destroying my fresh air? Poked my head to see and found the source, that asian guy, Dante's friend.

Stared at him from third floor with evil eyes. liked he had a radar to detect my evil sight, he looked up. "hi, there" he said. He remembered me.

Before that day, he and I walked passed each other a few times. He stared at me for some reason, surely not admirably, everytime we met in the hall. pretty mad at him, how rude! few days later, Dante's took me to meet his NICE friend just came a few days. couldn't believe it's him.

it's impossible to hide my surprise and seemed he was surprised also from his pause after Dante's introduction. still staring, this a-hole!! talked a little, tried to be polite then excused myself to do my homework. thought we'd never have to meet again.

the King's Hall wasn't that big. met him again and this time i had to have conversation with him.

"hi" right back at him, then a few words and excused myself to go back to study room. a few minutes later, he showed up at the study room. then we talked a little about programs here. another student was in the room so we went out to the same balcony and continued talking. talked about things on campus, programs here, etc etc, the moon, the tulips, the atmosphere. well, he wasn't that bad. before i knew, hours had passed by.

The next night at midnight, wanted to go out for a fresh air but remembered the previous night (or morning), was afraid to meet the guy. had so much to read, couldn't have any distraction. continued reading till 2 am, then went out for fresh air. nice weather. pretty moonlight. hm...is he there? poked to see and surprisingly, my eyes met with the same eyes. "Hi there, it's you again" he said.

Third floor and ground floor. it became our meeting point. the story began there, like romeo and juliet. Like a fairly tale. Luckily, it didn't have the same ending. Nobody died but no happily everafter either.

One of a few moments in life.

I hope it's the start of the end.
LHC

someone always wanted to kill me in my dream.

had a dream last night
a green snake curling on the ground
almost stepped on it

bit someone .. can't remember who
then it got away
and I woke up

I hate snake as much as I hate dream
who will hurt me this time?

nos·tal·gia

nos·tal·gia /nɒˈstældʒə, -dʒiə, nə-/
–noun
1. a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time
2. A bittersweet longing for things, persons, or situations of the past

pig and deer went to see the world
their mother didn't want them to leave but let them go anyway

pig and deer travelled very far
they got lost and couldn't find the way home

their mother was very sad
she shouldn't have let them go

and the world didn't care

pal pal pal pal har pal har pal
kaise katega pal har pal har pal
pal pal pal pal har pal har pal
kaise katega pal har pal har pal
dil dil dil dil mein machi hain machi
machi hain hulchul hulchul hulchul
kaise katega pal har pal har pal - 2
pal pal pal pal har pal har pal
kaise katega pal har pal har pal
ha ha ha ha haha haha..
la la la la lala lala..
o humsafar lagta hai darr
raat kate na kabhi ho sehar
iss pal mein simte umar
raat kate na kabhi ho sehar
tu jo hai saath mere toh dagar
lage ke jaise khubsurat ghar
tu jo hai saath mere toh dagar
lage ke jaise khubsurat ghar
tu jo hai saath toh yeh ambar
lage ke jaise saaya ho sar par
tere kaandhe par rakhkar sar
yun hi katt jaaye saari umar
pal pal pal pal har pal har pal
kaise katega pal har pal har pal
la la la hm..
kal kya ho kisko khabar lagta hai darr lagta hai darr
iss pal mein simte umar raat kate na kabhi ho sehar
achha bataaon dil ki itni saari baaten kaise likhoge iss chhote khat par - 2
dil par toota hai yeh kaisa kehar tumko paakar khone ka hai darr
pyar ka yeh dhaaiya ghar kaise likhoge iss chhote khat par
pal pal pal pal har pal har pal
kaise katega pal har pal har pal
pal pal pal pal har pal har pal
kaise katega pal har pal har pal
dil dil dil dil mein machi hain machi
machi hain hulchul hulchul hulchul
kaise katega pal har pal har pal - 2
la la la la la ...
ha ha ha ha ha...

Aug 9 last year was the last time I ever talked to you. Don't know if it would have made any difference if I didn't refuse to talk to you for some stupid reason. You would have done the same no matter what.

Don't know where you are now and will not guess because I'll never get the answer. Only know that I am still here wondering about life, living it. Things are done for you but, for me, they are still going on.

I am the same age as you were now and will be older than you next year. Sometimes, I think you had done the right thing for youself as you always did. But what about for other people around you?

Walk away and let me deal with problems on my own. I guess you were doing the same to people around you. "you will have to get better on your own. nobody else can help you"
You said that to me when I was crying and walked away. Cold but true.... but only half of it.

There is no right or wrong, just different way people handle things.

I don't believe in life after death. I am writing this only to remind myself that once.. i had a good friend like you. And to remind me those things you told me. I have no chance now, to tell you the other half.

It doesn't matter anyway, just different way people handle things.

08-08-08 what's so great about it?
just another day

sleepy but can't sleep

I am happy; then I am sad; then I am bored

I love; then I love no more; then I hate

I love my job; then I hate my job; then I am bored of my job

I love my family
only my family loves me
only my family cares

almost a year
aug 10
aug 10
aug 10

I am scared...
don't scare me

Nostalgia has a sad side; challenge it by making a big plan for the near-term future.

the day got more interesting with a few issues.
got to investigate something.

big requirement is coming
don't feel like doing it
just a stupid requirement and waste of money
but what do I know? just a small-time programmer

another new big task, don't really interest me that much
don't wanna be involved in something I don't know
don't wanna learn something I am not interested

had better not complain
at least I have a job
for no...

new day
new life
new start

to make you happy, it's better to leave you alone

the more I try, the worst it gets
why trying in the first place, all are lies anyway

to make you happy, or to make myself happy
lying to you, or to myself

yes, you are right. selfish is a suitable word

make the right decision
I can keep on lying but I am not the one

don't know how far I can go
only to keep my promise
may go all the way, only not to hurt you

perhaps, if lying long enough, it will become true

no use to drag. can't bear it. ashamed and hurt
not important anymore. no need to try

never once ignore when asked, never once couldn't do
but never once satisfied

still have energy left but almost out of heart
almost gone coz hardly feel any happiness
it's only close but never reach
why fooling myself

should stop now before heart shattered
will stop now will hurt but will forget eventually
like other times

find the thing that puts your mind at rest

salary discussion, not good, not bad
a little bit above average

so surprised I got more than some people who have more work
well, actually, I have no work at all
is this good or bad?

6 months in india
3 is fine, but 6....
hm...maybe I'll lose my weight...
...also my mind...

work till late at night, feel tried but dragging
forgeting things, everything's a mess

careless, or simply ignored
lead to mistakes

burning from electrical device
one to another, and another

at 57 degree, sprinkler tube breaks
only the ones with temparature reaches the threshold
flooded, drawn, smoke all over the place

smell of paint's killing me
my nose's hurt

when is it going to end?

people don't want to believe that it's true coz it's too simple, too easy.
after 100 years, do they just change their mind?

maybe there are many groups and this is only one of the groups.
at least, hopefully, there will less killing
at least, we know those groups start breaking up.

a year of rat, happy hurt days.

best news ever
hope it's true
head of southern groups promise to stop all terrorist acts and bring back the peace
after 100 years of killing and disturbing
Is it that simple?

hope it is
best news ever

Happy Birthday

3 flowers are in the vase.

one is beautiful
one has good smell
the other one lasts long

sitting near the vase
looking at them
which one to keep?

leave them in the vase
walk away with empty hands

3 months in india. Hope I don't have to go alone.

Today is my birthday.

Where's mom? Saw two squirrels near by. Hope they didn't try to eat this poor bird.

Seems like mom and dad didn't come to this nest for long time.

What should I do now? I realize what I shouldn't have done but it's too late.

Please forgive me.

What you feel only matters to youself.
What you do does matter to the one you love.

Saying how you feel won't matter at all.
You show him or her by what you do.

What happened?

There's a bird nest on my tree. I'm excited to see. Inside, there's a small egg. I can't resist myself to have a peek every morning before going to work.

Friend told it's good luck to find a bird nest in the house. I think it's the opposite. It's the bird baby's bad luck I found it. I saw bird mom twice and never saw her again.

I think I just kill that unborn baby bird.

Went to gym, didn't feel like it but went anyway.
The trainer coulnt' concentrate much today.
Things are getting difficult for everyone.
Everything is expensive. Everyone is struggling to survive.
I am paying to listen to his problems.
That doesn't matter. Let it be.

Came back home to find out it's flooded everywhere.
The trees fell down. How heavy was the storm?
I just missed it.

First time in many years, I have to walk in the water
and in front of my house.
It's never been flooded in this area.
Never mind, let it be.

whatever

Thought I was fine.
Read the lines, still felt something.
Still hurt.

Again, couldn't finish reading.
Put it back where it has been kept all this time.

Some day, I'll be able to finish it.
I am falling back some steps.

Hello my old friend, now you're back into my life.

Join Salsa class, just to accompany my russian colleauge.
Only two are thai, including me. The rest are non-thai.
One of the guy is a real jerk and that woman is a real bitch.

There are very few times that I regret for what I did.
This is one of them.

SOB!!

Some guy breaks his promise and says he doesn't want to hurt anyone by lies. I didn't know promises are only lies, SOB.

Paid a lot of money last month and this month, mostly on car. It's time, probably. Been driving it for 10 years now, had few problems in the past but this time, it's pretty big. After this fix, I hope I will still drive it for some more years.

Other bills are piling up. Never thought I'd be in this situation. I have lost my liquidity but it's good for me. So I won't be robbed again.

Can't blame anyone. I got myself into trouble. Now suffer the consequnces. Life's always fair when benefits are nowhere around.

I killed a bunch of ants today. They were in my instant noodle. I think I ate some of them too before I realized they were walking on my noodle. They were eating my noodle too, or my msg. I was thinking why my noodle was not as crispy as it usually was. I should have known.

I tried not to kill but I end up killing more this year, roaches and ants. I don't see any flies at all. Where have they gone? Are they extinct? Oh...now I remember I see some of them at the restaurant today but not at my home.

The biggest living thing that I had killed is the lizards, not on purpose though. When I was young and lived in the other house, there were lots of lizards. They were everywhere, in my bedroom, at the windows, at the door, on the ceiling, on the wall. Thier favourite place must be at the door so every time I shut it, it must have squeeze them flat and they died in an ugly way. I should have felt sorry for them but only felt sorry for myself. I had to see their body all inside out several times. Poor creature but I hate them the most.

The more I hate them, the more I have to be near them. Those lizards liked to stay on the ceiling while I laid down on the floor watching TV. They waited for some insects to fly by so they could let themselves go from the ceiling and eat those insects in the middle of the air. It would have been a cool way to eat their dinner if they hadn't land on my leg every time they did that. I wanted to scream when I felt those creatures falling on my leg.

After moving to his house, I still see lizards but much much less than before. Lizards here are a little bit better, but I still hate them, they run away from my sight everytime I see them. Good that they know how to be where they're supposed to be.

So I don't kill lizard anymore. Now I have problem with roaches most of the time but not so often. My mom and dad kill them all.

I hope I won't have to kill anyone again from now on. It's a sin.

That Girl's Diary

She wrote she loved him so much and didn't understand what went wrong. He thought she had been unfaithful and faking. She denied it in her diary. It is sad to find out the truth this way.

She wrote she couldn't stand the feelings she felt each morning when she woke up and the thought of not being loved by him. She couldn't imagine how to live this way, without his love.

Poor girl, too young, too fragile. Really feel sorry for her parents. Everyone is in pain.

Smart guy but shallow. Cannot complain. At least, he's honest with me. I shouldn't judge him. It's his life, his desire, so his decision.

If I didn't live this far away, probably, he wouldn't open to me this much.

A lot of things happened at W. Bethel. Why am I full of bad memories?

Bad memories hurt... but, actually, good ones hurt even more.

I drive everyday but when I think about it I don't remember much what happens while I am driving each time. I remember closing the gate, leaving the house and before I know, I am at the parking ticket booth where I have to interact with another person.

I have probably been in an auto mode, plus sleep mode.

The meeting was so boring. My mind always went away. I had to bring it back several times, many times in each 15 minutes. Nothing interests me now.

I have these series to kill time and to posseses my mind. After these series, I have no idea what else to do. I don't know what I've been doing this passing year. How did I pass all those time?

Sometimes, it's good to be stupid but most of the time it sucks.

Good that I have someone who will always listen to me, love me. With this good thing, I can forget most of bad things. I am good at forgetting things anyway though the feelings never leave.

Sala, 15 years to grow until we see its flower. Pink and yellow, like our high school colors.

Isolated myself from others. Don't know why but that's what I feel like doing. Keep only the ones with similar personalities, the ones who don't like to socialize much with others.

Prefer to be alone most of the time. Feel lonely sometimes, and bored, but better stay this way than bringing disappointments into life.

Some people can love easily and many at the same time. I am not anything better. I love only one but can be with many at the same time. I know what I am doing. I know how I feel. I know what I should do. And I know what will happen. I don't know now what to do when it happens but I will know.

Sala, it smells very sweet. I want to pick and keep it in my pocket so I can admire it anytime I want. But sala can die so fast, like any other good thing in life. It can stay only short peroid of time then it goes away. Never expect anyting to return because even if it does, it won't be the same.

มาทำไม ไม่รักแล้วมาทำไม

banana boat

supercow