whatever I did, it was from my own decision
I brought myself into things without thinking of any consequences
I had never hurt anyone
I didn't think bad things could ever happen to me
though I have learned people get what they get
and has nothing to do with what they deserve
Life isn't fair but that's life we all have to live in

Decision is decision, good or bad depending on who is looking at it
Each decision leads to different path
And the one I made, it is leading me to my death
I get what I get
many people will think I get what I deserve
let it be, I am glad I make you all happy

Decision I made cause your family and the one I love the most to suffer
By thinking in your way, after some time they'll be back to normal
forgiving each other, and move on

I suffer from what you did and now losing my life
after some time .... I won't be around to care

One thing you should learn
You think you can do anything say anything
no need to keep promise, words are just words
You can change your mind just like that,
only because you just happen to realize this is not for you
No harm will be done, or even it did, people can forget it easily and move on

you are the one who have the control, to make decision
you have killed other people's hope, faith, trust, sincerity,
only to keep your own
and just leave them behind to deal with it, thinking they will move on
You have no idea how much damage you have caused to others, to me

One damage you have caused is my life
yes, I have brought myself into this death
but would any of this be happening if it wasn't for you who did all those things to me?
I have my answer to this question. what is yours?

many people die each day
everybody dies eventually
It is just my time but cause of my death is you

You regret you had brought me into your family
but never realize what you have brought to my life

Go ahead, move on like other times
Enjoy the most of it
what goes around comes around

you will not see me walking the road with anyone
It is because I will not like his company

you will not hear me talking to anyone
It is because he cannot pleases me

you will not feel me falling for someone new
It is because I had fallen
It is because you were there to catch me

If you are lost, I too am nowhere
I don't know where the road is going
Are we going to cross each other's path
Do we leave it to fate

It is easy to let go all promises
They are just words
I know a guy who is capable of doing that
But I know you are different
I am different

So I will walk alone
It is only you I want to walk with

I will keep my silence
It is only you I want to talk with

I will live my life with no heart
It is only you whom I want it with

There was a time, when men were kind
And their voices were soft
And their words were inviting
There was a time, when love was blind
And the world was a song
And the song was exciting
There was a time.....then it all went wrong

I dreamed a dream in time gone by
When hope was high and life worth living
I dreamed that love would never die
I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid
And dreams were made and used and wasted
There was no ransom to be paid
No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night
With their voices soft as thunder
As they tear your hope apart
As they turn your dreams to shame

He slept a summer by my side
He filled my days with endless wonder
He took my childhood in his stride
But he was gone when autumn came

And still I dream he'll come to me
That we will live the years together
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be
So different from the hell I'm living
So different now from what it seemed
Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

I know it's stupid
but it's the move I want to make...
another big mistake I want to do...

I am quitting the job.

November.
Not getting any better.

Used to think it's not true that
a person cannot live without the other person.
I have learned it a hard way.

Please don't leave.

how long will this go on?
too much pain,
crying doesn't help releasing any of it
still, tears are falling down my face

I am dying inside but still have to be normal around people
impossible to do but must drag every second of it

love always bring more pain and sorrow than happiness
always started with illusion, then trapped in hell
can't live with it, can't get out of it

no one around to help
no one can help

friend whom I thought would understand me the most had left
I stood by her for whatever she did, good or bad in the eyes of others
it's wrong to expect the same thing from anyone else
Perhaps, too much to ask

Always have to go through things on my own

some people are strong
will I have that strength?

I want to die

she had lost her ability to feel the world
she continued her life normally but with no heart
it seemed her all senses had been damaged

another drop of my tear is falling down my face
I don't know if I am crying for her or myself

change the book to read something more cheerful
my tear is still falling and falling
maybe I am still sad for her,
maybe I am sad for....something else

I know how to stop the pain

Jan 4, new year but everything is exactly the same
what new start?
what new life?
what change?
everything is the same

hurt still hurt
sad still sad
jerk still jerk
life has never been fair
bad guys win
losers suffer

cannot wish anything good
cannot lie and hurt myself
don't wanna say bad words or curse
people will get what they get
no one wins or loses all the time.