Start over again

After a month has passed, without any contact with him, I did pretty good on trying to forget what had happened.

Go to work, chat with someone new, go out with someone new. It helped. Friends told I would be over it fast if I could find some other guy to be with. It worked but it didn't feel right.
I think it's kind of selfish and unfair to that new guy. But they say there's no fair games in love anyway. So I went out with him without second thought.

Things had been improved then ... he sent e-mail to me, asking how I was doing. I realized immediately i have been fooling myself and, worse, fooling somebody else. My feelings for him have never changed, they were repressed to a dark corner of my heart. They will always be sitting there and wait to be provoked by him.

I decided again to tell the new guy what I was doing to him. Now he leaves me. I must have hurt him too the way I am hurt by the first guy.

I decided also to forget all the things in the past. It's difficult. But I have set only one destination for myself, I must succeed.

Life is just life, it's us who make it unfair. There's no reason I should do such things to others.
The first time I feel guilty for what I did. I knew it's wrong and I still did it. I can't blame anyone because it's me who did it, no matter why I did it.