Recovery 1

Sometimes, I think I want to send him an e-mail letting him know that I will be gone for a while... to heal my heart. But then I think, he might not be interested in knowing what I have to go through or how I am doing. My e-mail will just annoy him and probably make him uncomfortable. Besides, he's having someone else. I should let him be happy with her.

I remember the time when I refused a guy, I never had any thought of and care for that guy after that. I don't believe in karma but I start to think what I had done is getting right back to me. Or... maybe not, we're just two people who didn't share the same feelings. I did what I had to do so now he did what he had to do. No need to ask questions. The answers might be just the excuses, or lies which attempted to comfort us but in vain.

I am still luckier than some people. I heard a story from a colleague today about a young couple, newly wedded in US. They spent a happy time together for a year there. They planned to get married again in Thailand. Everything seemed to be perfect and went on smoothly but then they had a car accident. Only the girl survived. The wedding had became a funeral. It's such a heart breaking story. I cannot imagine how the girl would continue her life. How could she survive the pain of losing someone she's deeply in love with?

I have heard a lot of tragic love stories. I cannot imagine how anyone could get through this kind of things. What I have experienced now consider to be less than a fraction of what they had been through. At least, he's living happily with the girl he loves. At least, there're two, out of three people, who are very happy.

I won't spend too much time in grief. I consider myself to be lucky, to experience another happiest moment in my life, to feel the care, to give love, to care for someone, to give all my trust. He's very special to me and I will keep this memory with me always.