Recovery, no progress

Each morning when I wake up, I still feel so depressed. Can't help thinking about him. The idea of not having him in my life is still so painful.

Sometimes, I have to prevent myself from thinking of him but then I think it just postpones the pain or I am just fooling myself that I don't feel anything. I've been telling myself not to think but is it really a good way?

It's getting harder each day. I think I am going to cry again soon.