Another hard time

It's been 3 months but the pain is still with me. Looks like it has no where else to go. I cry almost everynight thinking about the things that will never come back to me. Things that will never happen to me again.

It's really hard to stop myself from thinking of him. Well, actually, I never stop myself. There are times that I want to write him and ask him how he is doing. But then I know the answers. He's happy with his life. He is not thinking about me at all. Or maybe he wonder how I am doing but I don't want that. I want him back to be the same. If not, he'd better stay away from me like this always.

It's hard living my life, trying to get through each day. I really have lost ability to enjoy. Worst, I make people around me worry about me.

How long will this continue? I have lost all my strength and feel so weak. I don't know what keep me alive each day.

I am just a body without any soul.